Devious Journal Entry

Mon Feb 25, 2008, 3:20 PM

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Mood:

Devious Journal Entry

Thu Dec 15, 2005, 10:35 AM

Being home from school is a different experience in its entirety. Home is no longer so comftarble, considering most of my personal effects are lying stagnant -collecting dust, no doubt- in my dorm room. Here, my room is populated by mementos of high school, but at the same time is uncomftarbly bare. I come to realize that my old room is like those in hotels: familiar, but un-livable. 



I begin to inhabit that room less, and less, prefering instead the company of my dogs, and my precious laptop, in the formal living room. I confine myself to the corner of the couch, handcuffed by an insatiable need to be alone. At college, one does not have that luxury, no matter how lonely that luxury is. 



And here, in this room, I begin to battle my depression. And somehow...somehow I'm winning. I've clawed my way througgh the darkness I gave myself, and have now found footholds. They are slippery, but they exist..which is all that matters. I can breathe.



And now....now I'll write.

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Devious Journal Entry

Fri Dec 2, 2005, 11:18 AM

Rocking To:: "Seventy times 7" - Brand New

Mood:: 





Some quick updates::



I've got a new laptop since my old one finally crashed and didn't wake up., RIP Satan, I'l miss restarting you every day and cursing at you when you don't work. 





I'm working on a writing project right now, but it wont be done for awhile considering I've got finals next week. Damn college. 





Oh, and by the way: Rent was AMAAZING.

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.....

Sun Nov 27, 2005, 8:48 PM

I wrote a poem.

It was good.

Then I accidently deleted it.

Oops.

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&& it's an update..

Wed Nov 23, 2005, 10:00 PM

Rocking to:: "I'mGoing Home" - Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Mood:: 





11.22.05: I woke up to a disgruntled roomate screaming my name from across the room. Whoops. It seems I hadn't heard the alarm again. I sigh and get out of bed to shut it off, and gather up my stuff to take a shower..only to feel as though I was going to pass out. I figure I stood up to fast, and carry on to the shower, wherein I almost faint three more times.

Once dressed, the feeling begins to pass, and I go about my routine, as usual a whole half an hour earlier than my roomates because I refuse to leave the room without straight hair and a generous application of eyeliner. And as usual, I'm the last one ready to leave.

The three of us trek out into the muck known as rain, and I immediatly curse myself for taking the time and effort to make my hair looks nice. It becomes curly and -in my mind- vile, in 2.3 seconds flat. I grumble about that, and the cold, until we get to class...where I am forced to shut up in order to take an exam. I work my way through it much faster than I think I should have, but don't care. It's only a test..it wont matter down the road, hell..it probably wont even matter next week, much less in three and a half years from now when I graduate.

I return to the room alone -since my roomates were still working on said exam- and begin packing, and...cursing at my computer which had crashed for the 1,234,968 time this week. Bugger. I knew I'd named the beast Satan" for a reason. I awkwardly unplug it and shove it into its case to take it home. Hopefully Dad wll fix it. 

An hour and a half later -and now completly packed- I go to my last class that morning, and suffer through a film about tuberculosis and the evolution of viruses. I am only amused because Liam Neeson narrated the piece, which is cool considering he was in my beloved "Batman Begins."

Finally, class is over and I go to get myself a hot cocoa from the cafe. I grab a lid with me and exit the building, only to be blown over (pun intended) by a staggering sheet of wind. Bugger that too. I attempt to put the lid on my cocoa, but experience resistance, and manage to spill half of my beloved drink down my arm. At least it was warm....too damn cold outside.

I return to the room and recieve a call from MoMo to go get lunch with her before we head out, so we go and I save myself a precious taquito in my pocket. You've never had a taquito until you've had a CNU taquito. I pine for them now. MoMo and I return to my room to grab my suitcases, and I am hugged thoroughly before I am allowed to leave.

Phew..finally...release. MoMo and I begin the three hour car ride to Northern VA, and I doze some of the way(yeah, I lied...I was actually asleep, Mo.) and listen to music when I was not. Good times.

Finally, I get home and greet my parents and my dogs. They are happy to see me, and I feel likewise. We sit down and eat dinner, and my brother's girlfriend and I make jokes the entire time and amuse everyone.

Later we watched "Anchorman" (at my request) and I am sad to report that the humor is fairly dead after three viewing, especially when one uses the jokes in daily life.



11.23.06: I am awoken at noon. Then again at 12:30. Then again at 1pm. A pillow makes a good shield against parents telling you to wake up..I obviously haven't lost my touch. I stagger downstairs (I seem to stagger alot in the mornings) and eat a croissant and stare blankly at the television screen as my Dad watches Nascar. I could care less about the bombs with wheels going in circles trying to see who would cross some line first. It really makes no sense to me. I grapple with the idea of telling my dad this, but don't. I'm sure he got it the first two thousand times I had informed him. 

I return upstairs (I think the 8 car got into a wreck sometime at this point, in case you were wondering) and put on clothes and go about my usual routine of straightening hair and putting on eyeliner. I like routines, so much so that I could most likely be diagnosed with OCD by now. Mother and I go to the hairdresser (aka. my mother's pretty-much best friend who at this point knows me much to well) and all that usual stuff that goes on at the hairdresser goes on. I spend most of my time on the phone with Krispy, ignoring the serious talk the two older women were having over my possible need for depression medication. I wonder if it's a good idea as well, but do not say so aloud. 

Mother and I leave and go to the store. Mom complains that I am being grumpy, I complain that all the clothes in that particular store look like something my grandmother would wear. Damn you Steinmart, you may just be the worst concept for a store in the history of the world. Soon we head to Target and Wal-mart (the essential store for college kids), and Mother buys me a fleece batman blanket and scooby-doo slippers, merely because I smiled and jumped around like I was five. I also bought some tan boots that reminded me of those lame boots that all the girls bought because they were so "fly." Why did I buy them? Well, they're out of style now, and mine are even more awesome because they have tassles. That's right...I said it: tassles. You know you're jealous.

I come home and have a very nice visit with a guy I really like, and am thus scared..because I don't really feel so comfortarble with liking someone again, especially so soon after I lost someone else. By the end of the visit I have become quite attached to him (not like I wasen't already), even though he refused to watch "Gilmore Girls" with me. Hey, he can't be perfect...

I then ate Chik-Fil-A (never mind I eat it practically every day at school) and watch "Saw" with my family. I'm impressed, though I was disapointed that someone told me the ending before I watched it. That ruined a good amount of auprise. I almost screamed during the end because the credits said Cary Elwes was in it, and he is the amazing man who played Robin Hood in "Robin Hood: Men In Tights. I am sad he did not wear tights in the movie. It would have made it even better.

I go upstairs to retrieve another movie for my brother and I to watch, and realize it's snowing. I hate the snow with an undeniable passion. It is cold, and I do not like cold. I do enjoy wearing scarves and funny hats, true, but the cold really puts a damper on even that.

I curse the snow's existance and watch "Rocky Horror Picture Show", and shout the audience participation at the screen..I think my brother became sick of me screeching, "Castles don't have phones, asshole!" every five minutes. I sang all the songs too...which made him a little uncomfortable, I think. "Touch-a, touch-a,touch-a, touch meee...I wanna be diiiiiirty" is not something anyone would like to hear come out of my mouth, much less my sibling.

And now...here I am, writing this...tommorow is thanksigivng, and luckily it's only my immediate family. I don't want to deal with people asking me about college right now. Though, there's a hell of a lot of food in th fridge...and two pies. Glorious.



Stay classy, . Happy Thanksgiving.